Building Success and Having the Life You Want - NLP Matters, Episode #004

In the last couple of weeks, we talked about each component of the BE-DO-HAVE Model. We talked about the importance of clearly defining what you have and how your outcome determines what you need to do and who you need to be in order to achieve that outcome.

In this episode, let’s take a look at how these three components all work together in building your success and having the life that you want. 

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Here are some key takeaways from this episode:

• The BE-DO-HAVE Model is a fundamental tool for understanding human behavior. This model is an extremely powerful and simple tool that you can use to ensure that you’re doing the right things to achieve your goals.
• Begin with the END you have in mind. Be really clear about what you want to have. 
• The end is not a feeling. A feeling is not part of the outcome. This model is not about waiting until you have something to feel a certain way.
• Define your outcome in a very sensory-specific way. Be clear about what you will see, hear, feel (externally and internally), once you have that outcome. 
• Once you’ve got an outcome in mind, go and identify the actions or steps that you need to take in order to achieve that outcome. 
• Plan your steps. Recognise that you don’t need to know all the steps before you begin. Don’t look for certainty as a trigger for starting. Certainty does not come before your start.
• You can’t feel confident until you start. Confidence comes from starting to do what you need to do, and not before.
• Waiting until you know all the steps is not part of this model. The “doing” part is all about being clear that you have at least some steps that you have specified in order to get started.
• Look around you for people who already have the outcome that you want and use them as models. Be really curious about who they are being as people and the characteristics they are displaying.
• The end you have in mind frames and determines what you need to do and who you need to be in order to achieve that.
• NLP focuses on listening to language codes. It’s not just about the words we speak but also about the physiology and psychology of excellence that people bring to their outcomes or their lifestyle.
• Learning these language codes allows you to reflect on the things you are saying and doing. Ask yourself how do these things align with the outcome that you want to have, who are you being in order to achieve that outcome, what are your presuppositions, and what are the beliefs and values that underlie your behaviour.
• There are a lot of other powerful tools in NLP that you can use to build a successful life.
• You are in control of who you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have, regardless of the external circumstances.

The BE - DO - HAVE Model

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